Therapy as personal coaching

Author’s note: 99% will read this and move on. 1% will look into therapy. 0.1% will have their lives changed immeasurably. This is for the 0.1%.

I’ve always been curious about therapy, but only sought it out after our first newborn. Newborns will do what newborns do, but since you can’t blame a baby, you’ll blame your partner instead.

Having a therapist is like having a personal trainer to work through your emotions. We started with feelings as a new parent, and worked through to personal things I’ve never told anyone before. Every wave of feeling is like a rep at the emotional gym.

6 months in, we spend half the time talking about personal issues and the other half talking about work.

I currently work writing software. I’ve switched career paths 2 or 3 times depending on how you’re counting. I’ve gotten really good at picking things up quickly, but on the flip side lose patience with others quickly.

I recognized that the biggest risk to my career is losing my patience and calling someone out as an idiot. What helps prevent me from doing so is my therapist.

When you’re frustrated with your job, you tend to focus on things that suck the most and look for new roles that don’t have this. What’s easy to overlook, however, are things that your current job has (sometimes in spades) just because you’re frustrated by the things that suck.

Thankfully I didn’t ragequit. I wrote a blog post instead.

Being a parent forces you to be the responsible adult. Being an individual contributor often allows you to avoid being one.

I’ve spent a large part of my career in software building hard skills, and I probably will continue to do so till I retire. What changed is recognizing soft skills is something I should work on alongside.

I often ask myself, if all jobs paid the same what would I do? I still don’t know the answer, but I do know learning to be the responsible adult in a professional setting will open doors for me to get there once I find out.